Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Rant. So what?!

Hello....um, whoever might randomly come across this and care enough to read it. Yes, I realize it has been entirely too long since I've blogged so let's just all pretend that we haven't missed a beat and we'll pick up right here.

Today is one of those days where I can't quite decide if I am just being selfish and whiny or if most SAHM's feel this same way at some point. Either way, I'm just going to throw out my rant and hope tht when I'm done I will feel better and get over it.

I'm convinced that my son is on a mission to cause me permanent headaches when it comes to naps and bedtime. This hasn't always been the case though. Up until about 3 months ago he LOVED his bed, even when he got out of the crib. He NEVER co-slept with us (mostly because we learned the hard way with Blake) and he always went down awake and fell asleep on his own. Lately, he has become the anti-sleep monster! He is clearly tired yet fights me tooth and nail. Every excuse in the book, dozens of trips down the hall after he has been tucked in, lots of crying and mostly just driving me completely insane and wearing me out to total exhaustion. Sounds like a barrel of fun huh?! Yea. Not so much.

This whole fight to the death at bedtime routine is getting super old. I'm over it. And by over it, I mean, I am on the verge of a mental breakdown. Sigh. So of course, today, I have spent nearly 2 hours putting him back to his bed and still he is fighting the nap.....as he yawns. I NEED my down time.....I NEED some quiet.......I NEED the one hour a day to do whatever in want in peace! Is that skiing too much? To him it is, apparently. I think about how I literally get zero alone time during the course of a 24 hour day, generally. They need a break from me and I need a break from them every so often, right?! Don't get me wrong, I love and adore my children. I am generously blessed to be able to stay home with them. But does that outweigh the desire to have some uninterrupted "me" time? No. Now the burning question....am I being a selfish and whiny complainer or is this the norm? Either way, it is what it is. This mama needs to be other things besides a mommy 24/7.

Ok, I've made my point. I think I'll go make the grocery list, fold laundry, pick up toys, do the dishes and plan dinner while I daydream about the things that used to make me interesting, lol. Until next time....